Below is the sixth week of my daily ten observations. To learn more about my daily ten, and read the observations that came before these, you can read all previous posts here.
TEN. THIRTY-SIX.
1. 59 degrees at sunrise. Fall is eager this year.
2. I will have a baby (another one) sooner than I feel ready for at the moment.
3. Mountains of baby clothes. I need to start sorting. I need to get organized.
4. All these mosquito bites. Ugh.
5. I don't know what just happened to me, but there was a shift.
6. I can be tired and still be grateful. I can feel overwhelmed and still be grateful. I can cry and still be grateful.
7. I am stronger than I often give myself credit for.
8. Some things I just want to do for myself.
9. He has the hiccups again.
10. Sometimes you just have to draw the line.
TEN. THIRTY-SEVEN.
1. I need to unpack my feelings about asking for help.
2. My hips feel like they went through a growth spurt overnight.
3. Nesting is real.
4. I am getting a lot done today, but still, somehow, it doesn't feel like enough.
5. Love is a verb.
6. Love is a growing up.
7. Daniel Caesar. Freudian. So grateful to my big sister for this.
8. We are three out of five at the dinner table today. The chairs that hold our missing pieces look so empty.
9. It always feels so exciting - choosing what book to read next.
10. Tiny shoes lining the windowsill that haven't found a home yet.
TEN. THIRTY-EIGHT.
1. Everything is out of order this morning.
2. I am always surprised by how these sensations feel both new and familiar.
3. The girls say all my music is sad. I think about my favorite albums and wonder is that's true.
4. I am ready to not be pregnant anymore. I am not quite ready to have a newborn. Both of these things can be true at the same time.
5. She steps in without me having to ask. I am so grateful for her intuition and compassion.
6. I can do this.
7. She is so special to all os us, but it is a different specialness for each of us.
8. I don't really know what I expected this book to be, but it's not what I expected.
9. He's so expressive, and so free in that expression.
10. This new diffuser is magical. It's turned my room into a spa.
TEN. THIRTY-NINE.
1. Cloudy days feel like some kind of limbo between sunshine and rain.
2. I know his face has slimmed down a bit and lost some of its roundness, but when I look at him I still see my baby.
3. Quiet breakfast.
4. Building a fort becomes an exercise in communication and working as a team.
5. He circles the perimeter of their play, so absorbed in the world of his trucks that he doesn't seem to even notice them there.
6. I've worked out a lot of the knots, but this one is being stubborn.
7. When I chose my outfit for tonight, I didn't factor in that it would be this cold.
8. Fish tacos. Pineapple salsa. Cilantro. Heaven.
9. I appreciate the avenues his mind travels that mine doesn't even realize are there.
10. I feel so warm.
TEN. FORTY.
1. The world's tiniest moth on the other side of the window pane.
2. It's not raining, but it's not not raining.
3. Only 2 more days.
4. I should be used to this by now.
5. What they think shouldn't bother me, but it does. What they say shouldn't matter to me, but I'm still working on myself, so it does.
6. More nesting.
7. Boxes on boxes on boxes. We could make a village out of cardboard. If we had the space I would let them.
8. I can already feel the distance between us and summer widening.
9. I think he gets the hiccups at this same time every night.
10. The baby's space is coming together. It makes me smile to look at it.
TEN. FORTY-ONE.
1. I am starting to wake up without an alarm again. Without any little people climbing into bed with me and jostling me from my sleep. I like the feeling.
2. It seems I can only have long nails on one hand at a time, and sometimes on neither hand. Every time I look up another one has broken.
3. I need to do a better job of safeguarding my joy.
4. 32 weeks.
5. I am trying to shake it, but my spirit is heavier today.
6. Strength is beautiful, but so is vulnerability. I hope I am teaching them to appreciate both.
7. Tomorrow is her first day of middle school, and she wants me to cut her hair. This is so much pressure.
8. Every summer, I somehow forget how much energy and effort goes into getting them out of the door on time in the morning.
9. I have the sweetest children.
10. I don't think I've ever read anything like this.
TEN. FORTY-TWO.
1. She was born. I blinked. And now here we are on her first day of middle school.
2. I am torn between staying and going.
3. It is a big day for her too.
4. The weather seems to shift so quickly these days. There is no time to adjust to one before the other takes hold.
5. They have a fire horn out here too. Maybe this is just a small town thing.
6. This breeze feels so good.
7. I need to strike more of a balance between the time I spend reading and the time I spend writing.
8. When writing feels hard I abandon my own words for the words of others.
9. I open the drawers to look at the little baby's clothes at least half a dozen times a day. I've done this before, but looking at the tiny clothes still feels surreal.
10. I am content.